Shakespeare if introduced to modern education:
O teach me how I should forget to think.
Taken from: Romeo and Juliet


Shakespeare if introduced to modern plastic surgery:
God hath given you one face and you make yourselves another.
Taken from: Hamlet


                           -- from The Shakespearean Insulter by Chris Seidel
                                                    http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html